Celebratory Sheep, Blind KittEh, & Viral Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share these…

20 Top Viral Status Updates from this week:

1. I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
2. Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
3. “I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.
4. Friend: “Omg, your parents are so nice!” You: “It’s because you’re here..”
5. There are two types of people in the world:
   1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm.
   2. Idiots.
6. Don’t ask what keeps me up at night unless you’re prepared for my answer to keep you up at night.
7. Did you ever notice “?” is half of a light bulb… Because, when you get the answer you have a full lightbulb.
8. This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
9. Apparently somebody in Detroit gets stabbed every 52 seconds…sucks to be that guy.
10. You ever see a van so creepy it feels like the guy actually said “rape-van” when the car salesman asked him what he was looking for?
11. I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
12. If America had a slogan it’d be “Don’t bother me, I’m eating”
13. Have you ever drove behind someone who is obviously scared of their gas pedal?
14. One of these days I’ll realize that leaning forward in my car while accelerating does not make it go any faster.
15. Ugh… I just got called “Mam”. That always makes me feel so old, unless it is followed with, “We’re going to have to ask you to leave.”
16. Everybody has a box somewhere with some weird shit in it.
17. Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.
18. I think I could start a pretty successful company that makes nothing but excuses.
19. Don’t forget, every hand you shake has recently wiped an ass.
20. I sure did waste a lot of time as a kid practicing my autograph.

 Yesterdays Status Updates… | Best Stocking Stuffer Under $25

Celebratory Sheep:

Now, that’s one happy sheep! Make a friends day and share that picture on their page

Blind KitteH will Melt Your Heart:

Well, if that doesn’t tug your heart strings I don’t know what will!

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